About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Post Father's Day

I remember my Dad more frequently than just on Father's Day. He died before my 20th birthday. He died at age 55 because he drank too much and smoked too much. His attitude was he was going to live his life the way he wanted. He didn't always take into account that he had a wife and family and responsibilities. Mom had a hard life.

Daddy wasn't a violent alcoholic; he was an irresponsible and selfish alcoholic. His own father had died when he was four. He and his stepdad didn't get along. When he was 14 he worked on a farm where they had moonshine with their breakfast! He was groomed to be a functioning alcoholic. At 16 he got his inheritance from his dad and squandered it, some on my Mother, and so their life began.

As a child, my Dad was affectionate and never afraid to show his feelings. I remember seeing him cry when I was in a car accident, although that wasn't the only time he cried.

Daddy couldn't or wouldn't keep his promises. Dreams of a vacation were abandoned' we moved many times as we couldn't keep up house payments. Mom's job often was the saving grace in our life.

Still, we loved our Dad. He was the affectionate one; Mom was too reserved at the time. He was fun. He always told us we were pretty, talented, etc. He believed in us. I wonder how things would have been if Dad would have got a handle on his drinking before it destroyed his pancreas.

He didn't live to see me or my younger sister get married or have children. I think he would have liked my husband and been proud of my son. I think he is happy for me
and has found peace.

1 comment:

Linda said...

I can only guess about my father. He was much older and more wordly than my timid mother. He had been in the war. My parents were poor and he must have been senstive b/c he took his own life after having problems with his parents (with whom they lived) and after my baby sister was still-born.
My childrens father took his life at a young age and never saw his children marry or his grandchildren. They make me proud and would have made him proud too!