About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Disappointment and Growing Older

Three years ago I was diagnosed with kidney disease. It caused a severe depression which affected my work performance. I was cut a day and lost my benefits.  It could not be proved that it was my depression that was the cause of my losing my day, but do the math.

I have wanted a job in Pediatrics for over three years.  They made the position full time which was too much with my health conditions.  Then, the full time girl went on to a different position.  The clinic wasn't sure if they were going to post the position or what.  Well, they approved of twenty hours a week there and posted it on Friday and it was filled by Monday by the gal in registration.  Sounds like an inside job.  So, yesterday that dream of ever being part time and having benefits again died.  On top of that, I got reamed out for asking questions about the position being filled (my supervisor wasn't there to ask).

I came home from work and cried for an hour.  I am 59.  There aren't any other opportunities for me.  This is it...the pinnacle of my career at the clinic.  My son tried to assure me that I was a success as he turned out good.  He did.   Growing older is not what it's cracked up to be.  I am stuck in my rut until they either let me go or I retire.  I can't afford either. I don't know what to do.

3 comments:

Sandie said...

I'm sorry for your situation.
I do hope something turns up soon for you.
Hugs,

Sandie xx

Linda said...

Try not to look at the glass as 1/2 empty, it IS half full! You have a job, your hubby has a job, WITH benfits that cover you. You have a nice house, 2 good vehicles, plenty of food & clothing, you are able to go out and on vacations, and don't forget you have a loving family!!! you may think it's the end of the world, but in God's scheme of life tht job doesn't matter and it's just a speck in time.

Pretty Things said...

I feel for you. And I read your prior post first, and am glad for your positive outlook.

I know that I'm entirely unemployable now due to migraines that I can't control, and they cause depression, too (I mean, pain, why WOULDN'T it cause depression, right, as you know with your kidneys?). And unfortunately, if people can't SEE a disability, they are often not very kind about it.

I hope you know this is NOT a reflection of YOU, as you said in your next post -- that you truly believe that.