About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Choose Joy over Pain

Saturday was a glorious day for a birthday party for my great niece.  She turned three.  She is such a delight, and so polite.  She offered her help in and out of the house over the step to everyone.
Make a Wish!

I splashed Grandpa!
Sunday was a beautiful day with my husband.  He didn't golf.  He took me for a Sunday drive.  We went north and found this lovely coffee shop/restaurant.  Had a great meal, and as always, we each ordered something different and then shared.

Yesterday was a bad day.  I went into work in the morning only to find out I was supposed to work the afternoon!  So I went back home crying.  You see, the reason they need me is because Kay would be over her hours.  So, I am good enough for that, but not good enough to get the job in peds.  I felt very upset...used.  After talking with my sister and a friend, I realized this is common when one is 59.  The opportunities are no longer there.  Kay is sweet, but it is difficult to be one who wants to help her to learn how to do things.    It is difficult to find out I am the only one who has been making follow up calls since the full-time girl left.  It is difficult to be good enough to work when needed so someone doesn't go over their hours or needs a day off.  Good enough doesn't cut it, but there is nothing I can do.

I am not in a position to tell them to shove it.  I cannot talk to my supervisor about it, because if I am unhappy, then patients will sense that and yada, yada, yada.  I hope I could find a job to supplement this one,  a  job that would make me feel good and appreciated.

I am happy for friends and family that lift me up when I am down and for the joy they bring me.


Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

Your post is sobering because I hear it from so many people in their 50s...particularly men who have been relugated to contract work....because companies no longer want to pay benefits! I think you have the best outlook...look for joy each day and focus there...and take one day at a time...I now work more than one job and think there are many more of us doing that...add where you can. Thanks for the sweet comments about last weekend's illness...I wish I knew exactly what triggered it!

Linda said...

Great photos!!! I agree, it is really dirty that you are only good enough when THEY think it's a good idea, but you're not the right person for the job....even tho you have experience adn have done it before.

Ofelia said...

I'm so sorry that you feel this way about your job and I understand feeling horrible at a job but needing to stay on board because we need the money.
I happen to me back from 2006-2007 and I hate it until I change the way I saw the situation and it took 4 months of non employment to find one that I did loved and that I like the people around.

Bad Penny said...

What a lovely happy little girl !
So sorry to hear about your work issues. Hard to accept. I expect Kay appreciates your help - I hope she does but very hard for you to feel pushed aside. Sorry x