About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Warning: Depressing Post

It is not quite 3am.  I can't sleep, so here I am.

I can't seem to post on other's blogs, less I say something depressing.  I am depressed.  Mom moved to the nursing home yesterday.  It is not a good transistion.  She doesn't get half the care she got in the hospital.  The food is lukewarm at best and not all edible.  She is feeling down, I can tell, and that is what bothers me.  It is difficult for me to leave her there.

Her hearing aide is in for repairs, so she has her TV on full blast, which makes it difficult to visit.  I think she is escaping into her TV.

My sister is always cross, and I can't take that anymore either.  Today we have to go to the funeral home to pay for Mom's  arrangements.  I want to go a month back into time.


Pixie said...

Sorry you are going thru this. What an agonizing time for you.

Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15: 13

Tell God everything....He is There.

Gill - That British Woman said...

sending a virtual {{HUG}} and hoping things will look a bit brighter when daylight appears.

Gill in Canada

Linda said...

Try to give the nursing home the benefit of a doubt, maybe you were just there on a bad day, at a bad time. Maybe when you visit you can bring something to your mom that she likes (to eat) whether it's canned peaches or chicken soup from the deli. This whole ordeal has your whole family stressed, everyone handles it in thwir own ways. All of you love your mom, but as humans are unable to change the situation. [hugs]

Debbi@SheAccessorizesWell said...

Try to take just a small amount of time for yourself to relax. I know it is easier said than done. Maybe take a bubble bath or a warm shower. I like the ideas that Linda has about taking a little something special for her to eat or drink. This situation has to be awful for her too.
Please know we are here to *listen* and provide support.

Lyn said...

it is so hard when parents get old and we can't do as much as we would like for them. I hope she settles in soon.