About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm a Winner!

I won some awesome goodies in a giveaway on Deb's, Garage Sale Gal:  http://garagesalegal.blogspot.com/

It included some very cute things for making cards, including two Bingo cards!  I also got a Summery dish towel, paper plates and napkins, an "antique" cookie cookbook (you can see the price), a little bag of soaps and lotion, a tiny yellow bird, piggy bank, lemonade, and bag of soaps and lotion.  What a treat to open this package, and find all the little gifts.  I love the summer theme and colors (pink and yellow).  Thanks Deb!

I got many comments on my haircut.  It actually looked better yesterday when I fixed it.  It had way too much pomade the other day!  Hate that greasy feel!   The cut and color has sure lifted my spirits!

Today I work, tomorrow is errand running  day and laundry day .... making room for the weekend!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

New Haircut

This is my new cut and color. 
It's not exactly what I was going for, but it will grow. 
 I love the color and the short length for summer!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Toy Shopping...What Fun!

Okay, I'm out of my hole today. Today I am getting a cut and color at the beauty school. Wish me luck!

Yesterday I went shopping for a birthday present for a 1 year old. A great nephew is having his birthday party this Saturday and it's a good reason for the family to unite.

Anyway, I digress. One of the things I HAD TO BUY was "I'll Love You Forever." I used to read this book to my son and I would cry. The mom in the book would say:

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."

This is a MUST read no matter what your age if you are a Mom.

Then, I was looking for a toy.  (the book is for Mom)  I found this bath toy.  The child can play with it inside or outside the tub.  (it has suction cups to stick to the tub wall).  It blows bubbles, has music, etc.  All the toys have light up colors, music, voice, etc.   How did we ever learn our colors, shapes, numbers and ABC's without all that?

It was fun playing with all the toys!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Climbing out of My Hole

Yesterday I started to shut down. I am sorry, but I couldn't handle anyone's problems or complaints. I just didn't want to think about anything special so I didn't.

Hubby, son and I were on our way to a flea market. The day was beautiful when Jim got a call. They wanted him to work further away from home, so it meant a road trip for him which meant he would have to get home earlier and end our day. He had plans to stop at the casino. Well, it became a choice...flea market or casino. Unfortunately casino won out. Spent all day in a smokey casino instead of the beautiful sunshine!

The biggest problem is when there are three of us is we can never find one of us! I would have been ready to leave much earlier, but I was not the driver. I have a problem. When I am in a casino I keep spending money till it's gone. I borrow from my husband, and he gives it to me. He is my enabler. I know, it's my fault, my shameful addiction. I don't like to tell my friends or family. I am ashamed, so I shut down. I climb in a mental hole. I really need your prayers.

I crawled in bed (alone) and watched "America's Got Talent." Bubble gum for my brain.

Today is a new day. I will finish my laundry, and if my fatigue doesn't set in, will do some cleaning. Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut and colored. Wish me luck.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Crying and Shopping

Yesterday my day started with a funeral. I think I cried more than anyone there. I cried for the family, for all those who mourn, and for all the funerals I have been to that came flashing back at me. I know the departed go to a better place. Still, like my hubby's uncle the undertaker used to say, "life is sad." I did get to see an old friend who has MS and was out of the nursing home for the funeral. Her daughter had told me she had lost her marbles and wouldn't know who I am, but she was still sharp. I will go to see her before I have to see her at a funeral!

It was my sister's 46th wedding anniversary. Her second one without her husband. I knew it would be a hard day for her. So, like any good sister, we went shopping! We went to several rummage sales. I found a cute sundress. I love the pattern and color but it has to be ironed. Still, I bought it. I also got some videos as they were cheap enough, and yesterday I bought many gift bags. I called it gift bag day! My sister found an awesome purse!

We also went to River Rendevoux, which this year was a complete disappointment. No craft tents or food tents, just a hockey puck hamburger and a soda. We thought of going to Metro Jam where there are bands in the park, but felt like if we sat, we would lose our momentum. We went to an estate sale. Oh, there were several antiques including a commode that I would have loved! Too much money for me. The commode was a little wooden box with a hinged lid and pot inside. It would have been a great conversation piece! There was some beautiful antique chairs, magazine racks, but still, could not afford any of it. There were nick nacks and jewelry but I am cutting down on that stuff. Then, there was an antique wedding dress with crocheted sleeves. It had to be a size 1. Even though I didn't have the money, it was fun to look.

Later, my sister called me. She had visited her husband at his grave. There she met a nice couple who were worried about her. Sometimes you just have to cry.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Trying to Look at the Positive

Okay! I will try to post on a positive note! The good news! I have hypothyroidism. That means my thyroid is to blame for my weight gain and fatigue! Now, I can take another pill and get on with life! It's always good to find the reason why.

A church friend of mine died. She wasn't that old, but had many health issues, among them, scleroderma (hardening of the tissues). She got colon cancer and had to have an ileostomy. Although I tried to be positive for her and her hubby. That surgery took alot out of me and I was much healthier and younger. She had her surgery about a month ago, but her health declined and yesterday she passed away. She was such a selfless person! She was always working on something for the church, the community pantry, on the prayer chain, etc. She never asked for anything for herself although she needed our prayers more than anyone. May she rest in peace.

Last night we had a church "ladies night out." It was okay, and I suppose a good way to get to know people. I am still not sure about it. I have never felt like I fit in. I will give it a try.

Today is another rainy day. The good news is we are supposed to get our summer weather this weekend! I have to make plans now!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Post Father's Day

I remember my Dad more frequently than just on Father's Day. He died before my 20th birthday. He died at age 55 because he drank too much and smoked too much. His attitude was he was going to live his life the way he wanted. He didn't always take into account that he had a wife and family and responsibilities. Mom had a hard life.

Daddy wasn't a violent alcoholic; he was an irresponsible and selfish alcoholic. His own father had died when he was four. He and his stepdad didn't get along. When he was 14 he worked on a farm where they had moonshine with their breakfast! He was groomed to be a functioning alcoholic. At 16 he got his inheritance from his dad and squandered it, some on my Mother, and so their life began.

As a child, my Dad was affectionate and never afraid to show his feelings. I remember seeing him cry when I was in a car accident, although that wasn't the only time he cried.

Daddy couldn't or wouldn't keep his promises. Dreams of a vacation were abandoned' we moved many times as we couldn't keep up house payments. Mom's job often was the saving grace in our life.

Still, we loved our Dad. He was the affectionate one; Mom was too reserved at the time. He was fun. He always told us we were pretty, talented, etc. He believed in us. I wonder how things would have been if Dad would have got a handle on his drinking before it destroyed his pancreas.

He didn't live to see me or my younger sister get married or have children. I think he would have liked my husband and been proud of my son. I think he is happy for me
and has found peace.

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's Just the Way I Roll!

I got my tooth pulled yesterday. It took longer to fill out the paperwork than to get my tooth extracted! It was pretty painless until the numbing wore off in the afternoon. Nothing a little Tylenol-3 won't help.

Got my "spanx." Actually, I decided upon the Kymora Body Shaper (as seen on TV), but bought mine on Ebay so I could just get the top. It is a tad long, but I managed to get into it. It doesn't do miracles, but does smooth out a bit of the bumps. We'll see. It shaves about five pounds off of me. I still get a crinkle at the waist. Guess that's just the way I roll!...LOL

Have a groovy Friday!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Some of My Favorite Products

When I had my artificial nails, my real nails got so thin and weak. They would split, tear and peel. I have tried alot of nail products, but none worked like this product from QVC, a home shopping network. My nails were below the quick. Soon, I will polish them! It is called Perfect Formula Gel Coat nail strengthener.

Another product I love is Estee Lauder's Advanced Night Repair for eyes. Just a little dab will do ya. It's a gel and feels so good! I don't know if it's getting rid of the crow's feet or not, but it makes me feel beautiful!

The good news is that I don't need a root canal on my molar. The bad news is I have to go the oral surgeon today and have the entire thing dug out. Give me good drugs please! Maybe sometime in the future I will get a implant for that gap. In the meanwhile, I will just smile and use my eye gel!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

To Spanx or not to Spanx

The other day on another blog (http://over50feeling40.blogspot.com/), I said I would never wear Spanx...it is too constricting, I'm more into comfort. I am reconsidering.
My polka dot dress looks fabuous in the front, but in the back, it really shows my fat roll around my waist. This is more than muffin top....this is a loaf of bread or two! Don't tell me to go a size up; it fits good on top and in the shoulders etc. I can't possibly get rid of my roll in two months. I want to wear my polka dot dress and wear it proudly. Maybe I will stay seated and not get up, maybe I should just back away from people and not let them see my "back fat." I am a 59 year old woman, why am I so concerned? Spandex totally constricts my ostomy and is uncomfortable, but I must do something. What would YOU do?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Good News & Bad News

This week was good news and bad news. The good news is that my blood work is so stable that I am closer to a Stage III than Stage IV Kidney Disease, and that means that even if they had a perfect match for me, I would not need a transplant at this time. I am however, still on the list.

The bad news: I developed a horrible cavity from my love of all things gummy. It is by the root, so the tooth has to be extracted, get a root canal and then get it crowned, all to the tune of about $2500. Ouch! (in more ways than one)

A wonderful position for a Customer Service Representative came up. This position would have been closer to home, have more hours and benefits to boot. I can't apply because I have that written disciplinary action against me till mid September.

I must believe that all things happen for a reason.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Bring Back Boring!

Okay, so I complain about life being boring....well, not so much, but not in a good way.

I went to the dentist with a sensitive tooth. Well, the tooth is decayed down deep by the root, so I need to have it extracted, then go out of town for a root canal, then get a crown on top of that. Hopefully, it will all cost less than $2500. Our dental insurance is not that good. Whose is? Time to take out money out of our home equity. Pretty soon we won't have any equity.

I have to take my car in next week to check to see where the A/C is leaking. Hope that doesn't cost too much.

So, bring back boring!

Today I go to the kidney transplant specialist for a "check up." They just look at my lab results and give me a big bill....lol. At least it will be a time alone for hubby and me.

I got my polka dot dress! It was a deal since I got free shipping, it was off 40% and I still had $9 in gift certificates. I have been in love with navy blue polka dots since I was two and had a navy taffeta dress with polka dots (got to find that picture). Later, I remember my mom had a taffeta skirt with polka dots. Navy, of course. Once I had bought a vintage navy polka dot dress but I "outgrew" it. I got this dress to the tune of about $14 and plan on wearing it to an August wedding.
Poor girl got her head chopped off and wish I had the svelte figure, but no matter, I will feel fabulous in it....can't wait to try it on!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Mundane Life

I live a mundane life. Yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and decided to get the air conditioning fixed. I cannot take another Summer without A/C.

I made dinner. Ham on the grill and fresh asparagus! Yum!

What do you think? How do you decide to blog or not to blog. It seems no one reads it, so what's the point? I have no focus. I am not a crafter only or a fashionista.
I am just me....a wife, a mom, a clinic scheduler.

Today I will go to the dentist...woo hoo! I have a toothache and don't know if it's a chipped tooth or sensitivity. I'll take my son to work. I have Red Hat tonight. I need to make something .... beer bread.

A mundane life.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

It was a Challenge

Yesterday my bff and I went to a garden fair. Naturally, it had all things to do with gardening on sale. Now, I didn't have alot of money, but it was something to do and a beautiful WARM day! Woo hoo!

My bff bought a metal sculpture of a parasol that holds plants. Difficult to describe. She also bought a plant as she is the gardener and I'm just a onlooker.

There were Miche bag shells on sale for my Miche bag. A Miche bag is a bag that has interchangeable coverings/shells to change the look without changing the contents of the whole bag. These are something I felt I had to have and bought on Ebay some time ago. I haven't used my Miche bag yet because it is so large! Well, since clearing out my shoes and purses, I decided to pass up the sale and use the Miche bags that I have. That was a challenge. "Will I use it, do I have to have it, can I afford it?"

My bff and I did have to buy some sea salt hand scrub which made our hands sooooooo soft and young looking. Remember, I have old hands!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Tag! You're It!

This is Tag. You have to answer the next questions and tag eight other people.

If you could be any historical or current character who would you be? Robin Roberts. She is a news reporter and a breast cancer survivor. She is not afraid to live life to the fullest, is a caring person and very brave!

Name an interesting fact about yourself...........
I can yodel.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
I would not be so boy crazy...nuff said.

Which character traits annoy you?
I hate lying, two-faced people, and self centered people who put their wants before others. I just want people to be more caring and nurturing of one another...the world is hard enough.

Name one thing that you would change in yourself?
I would learn to let go and not be such a whiner.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?
My marriage and family.

Now, who to tag?????

Friday, June 3, 2011

Follow Friday Blog

TGIF! This has been a strange week. The good news? I have my voice back and hardly any cough! Looks like it will be nice out this weekend. Maybe we will get some yard work done.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Broken Vial

Today was a very hard day for me.  I had a patient who came in today who, to put it mildly was irrate.  No, he was irrational....he went ballistic and off in my face.  Why?  Cause he needed to vent and I was an easy target.  I am a customer service representative, which means I have to remain calm and friendly no matter what.  No matter that the guy tossed his broken vial of medicine on my desk and yelled at me for all his troubles. 

Which brings me to this:  What is wrong with the world?  I felt sorry for the guy.  That broken vial represented his heart, his mind.  He had lost his job.  He had a huge medical bill for which he was making payments and buying his medication from what he had left in savings.  He said it would last maybe another four months.  He admitted he accidentally broke the vial, but couldn't afford more medication.  His doctor's nurse had called and said he needed another appointment....another bill, another broken straw, before they could refill his prescriptions.....and I was there to take the brunt of his frustration.

Somehow God gave me the strength and grace to stay calm, and calm him down enough and get the nurse to talk to him.  She is used to having people get angry, but I was scared.  I couldn't get past the spilled medicine, the broken glass and the anger and desperation in his eyes.  After I was done with the my part of the scenario, he went back by the nurses and broke down and cried.  Post tramatic stress of sorts.  I find comfort in my family and the love and comfort of their arms.  I consider myself blessed to be the customer service representative and not the patient.

Everyone said I did so great keeping my composure, but I am disappointed that whatever I do, it is never enough.