What came first....the chicken or the egg?
That is my story. What came first....depression or my job?
Yesterday was a horrible day. It started a little after 8am with a goof up by me and two others, but I took the brunt of it. Then at noon I was reprimanded by my inability to schedule a certain type of appointment. In my defense, I don't have the opportunity to schedule those appointments too often.
But the tears began to fall. I don't handle criticism well. I feel like a major disappointment to myself, to my supervisor, etc. At the end of the day, the cash drawer didn't balance, and of course, that had to be me! Oh how I wish I could just quit my job, but I have bills, and I'm no quitter.
Still, I wish they would just let me go. Then I could collect unemployment.
I am not depressed enough to qualify as disabled. I am just depressed enough to be a detriment to wherever I work. No one likes a depressed person or someone who cries. It doesn't look good. It makes people uncomfortable. You see, there is still a stigma. It is okay to be depressed as long as you keep it to yourself.
Today I am having lunch with a friend and we are visiting another who had surgery. Tomorrow, my supervisor has off, so I have a two day break!
Things have to get better.