Depression

What came first....the chicken or the egg?

That is my story.  What came first....depression or my job?

Yesterday was a horrible day.  It started a little after 8am with a goof up by me and two others, but I took the brunt of it.  Then at noon I was reprimanded by my inability to schedule a certain type of appointment.  In my defense, I don't have the opportunity to schedule those appointments too often.

But the tears began to fall.  I don't handle criticism well.  I feel like a major disappointment to myself, to my supervisor, etc.  At the end of the day, the cash drawer didn't balance, and of course, that had to be me!   Oh how I wish I could just quit my job, but I have bills, and I'm no quitter.

Still, I wish they would just let me go.  Then I could collect unemployment.

I am not depressed enough to qualify as disabled.  I am just depressed enough to be a detriment to wherever I work.  No one likes a depressed person or someone who cries.  It doesn't look good.  It makes people uncomfortable.  You see, there is still a stigma.  It is okay to be depressed as long as you keep it to yourself.

Today I am having lunch with a friend and we are visiting another who had surgery.  Tomorrow, my supervisor has off, so I have a two day break!

Things have to get better.