It is 4:20am. I am thinking about the events of the last two days. Thursday my son and I went to see my Mom in the morning. It was important for him to see her as Mom has pneumonia for a third time and didn't feel well. She doesn't want to go to the hospital again. She is tired. The head nurse at the health care center came to talk to Mom about her wishes. Mom had trouble talking because of the shortness of breath, but Dan heard it from her and could see that she was tired. I think he came to grips with his Gram's wishes (Gramma helped raise Dan, so he is particularly close to her and like me, very sensitive.) The nurse assured Mom that they could give her oral antibiotics, keep her comfortable, etc. It was reassuring to me as well.
Friday morning my sister called. She had received a call informing her that sometime after Mom had breakfast, she had a "non-responsive episode." They are not sure if it was a small stroke or what. Mom finally opened her eyes enough to let them know she wanted to go to bed. We cried, we prayed, and watched her sleep. She would not wake up. In the afternoon she awoke to ask what time it was and said she would sleep a while longer. All day long, Mom would not wake up when we called her name, etc. She did not drink, eat or take any meds as she would never be alert enough.
At dinner time, we went to see Mom. No response. She was still sleeping. I couldn't handle it, so I kissed her and told her I loved her and we left.
Last evening my sister called to tell me that Mom tried to get out of bed. She wanted her glasses and hearing aide as well as a few sips of water. The nurse came in and told her she had to rest (Mom still wasn't alert). Later my sister called to tell me that Mom awoke and stayed awake for about an hour. She drank some water. She asked about Jim and Danny (thinking my sister was me), and was told we had to go home but that I was coming back tomorrow (today). The nurse gave Mom something to relax and said they would go in every two hours to be sure she had some water.
I don't know if she will be alert today, drinking, eating or taking her meds or if she will be sleeping again. I know I have to go see her, but this is breaking my heart.