About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Watching Mom Sleep - Is She Dying?

It is 4:20am.  I am thinking about the events of the last two days.  Thursday my son and I went to see my Mom in the morning.  It was important for him to see her as Mom has pneumonia for a third time and didn't feel well.  She doesn't want to go to the hospital again.  She is tired.  The head nurse at the health care center came to talk to Mom about her wishes.  Mom had trouble talking because of the shortness of breath, but Dan heard it from her and could see that she was tired.  I think he came to grips with his Gram's wishes (Gramma helped raise Dan, so he is particularly close to  her and like me, very sensitive.)  The nurse assured Mom that they could give her oral antibiotics, keep her comfortable, etc.  It was reassuring to me as well.
Friday morning my sister called.  She had received a call informing her that sometime after Mom had breakfast, she had a "non-responsive episode."  They are not sure if it was a small stroke or what.  Mom finally opened her eyes enough to let them know she wanted to go to bed.  We cried, we prayed, and watched her sleep.  She would not wake up.  In the afternoon she awoke to ask what time it was and said she would sleep a while longer.  All day long, Mom would not wake up when we called her name, etc.  She did not drink, eat or take any meds as she would never be alert enough.
At dinner time, we went to see Mom.  No response.  She was still sleeping. I couldn't handle it, so I kissed her and told her I loved her and we left.
Last evening my sister called to tell me that Mom tried to get out of bed.  She wanted her glasses and hearing aide as well as a few sips of water.  The nurse came in and told her she had to rest (Mom still wasn't alert).  Later my sister called to tell me that Mom awoke and stayed awake for about an hour.  She drank some water.   She asked about Jim and Danny (thinking my sister was me), and was told we had to go home but that I was coming back tomorrow (today).  The nurse gave Mom something to relax and said they would go in every two hours to be sure she had some water.
I don't know if she will be alert today, drinking, eating or taking her meds or if she will be sleeping again.  I know I have to go see her, but this is breaking my heart.


Gill - That British Woman said...

As I have never had to go through this, I can't know exactly what you are feeling, but the hurt/pain must be awful.

When you are with her today, talk about all the good time's you have had, and if today is the day she passes, at least you know you both were thinking of happier times and I know that would be a comfort for both of you.

God Bless and I will be saying a prayer for you and your family

NanaDiana said...

I am sorry you have to go through this. It is never easy. We have been down this road several times with our family. It is heartbreaking but also a relief in a way when they are safe in Heaven. I know it is hard to think that way but they are beyond all pain and Earthly suffering then.

You will get through this, Deb. I am so glad you have been able to be there for your Mom. xo Diana

Linda said...

I am so sorry for you and your family, I know how much a part of your lives she has been. She will always remain in your heart.

Gert said...
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