About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Friday, May 9, 2014

A Hole in my Heart

My mom's death has left me with a hole in my heart.  I have been trying to fill it with sweets and endless time on Facebook.  I don't feel like cleaning or crafting or doing anything constructive.  I HAVE been writing out my Thank Yous. 

I also spent time reading Heaven is for Real.  It was an easy read for me (I am not a big reader, but couldn't put it down).  I  have always believed Scripture, but still, I found the book to be comforting....perhaps because it is more contemporary.

I think of Mom with my sisters, brother and dad who went before her.  I think of Jesus putting his loving arms around her.  She has been restored in a heavenly body.

Still, I miss my times with her and have a hole in my heart.

3 comments:

Terra said...

Take care, dear friend. Our moms are precious, and we believe we will have a reunion in heaven, but I know you are grieving now. My mom died young, at age 54, and so sadly missed by me.

Linda said...

She's there, in your heart, in your memories, in your photos, in your thoughts. You will always miss her, but it will get better. You're alive, enjoy YOUR life!

Carolee said...

You need to fill the hole with your memories. You need to live your life the way your Mom would want you to and not let opportunities pass you. So many times I still want to grab the phone or run over to tell her something or show her a picture. The first year is the worst. You need to remember she is looking down on you and you don't want her to see you being sad.