About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Friday, October 9, 2015

The Best of Intentions

I had the best of intentions to write about last weekend's retreat.
I will, but it is not going to be the glorious account I had planned on.
This is my Facebook post:
"Went to Retreat. I enjoyed the Bible studies. It was about trusting God and giving up control. Well I was sick almost all weekend, had several ostomy bag blowouts....ran, out of clothes! Thank God for the counselor who was able to wash all my clothing. Thank God for the friends who loaned me clothes, for the lady who gave up half of her massage time for me, for being with a bunch of women who really didn't care if they saw me walk in the hall in my underwear! Control, trust, I had to trust God...that this would all work out. It was so hard. I felt so discouraged, so depressed, I cried, had a pity party. I came home. The few things I asked my family to do this weekend were not done. The house was worse. Control. Control my temper, my tongue, love my husband as he is. Today I have to call the nurse again. Patience, trust. These are such important truths to apply to my life."
I didn't mention how physically drained I felt (no pun intended) and having a horrible headache from crying.  (You would cry too if you soiled yourself big time three times!)  I started to feel better on Sunday.  I took some pictures before we left.

Susan is a good friend from Retreat.  We became friends the first year we met...2009?

Cool, cloudy weather

My bff, Linda, popped her head out with me!
The blessings that occurred were that I was surrounded by loving, caring women.  I loved the Bible studies, especially the one I wanted to skip!  I went on a wagon ride with my friend, Carolee.  I opted out of horseback riding and the pontoon...I didn't want to be too far away from a change of clothing!
I am allergic to the adhesive on my ostomy wafer.  The skin was so sore, developed a yeast rash, and nothing would stick to it.   It continued to get worse.  After seeing an ostomy nurse and trying out various appliances, I think I have one that I am not sensitive to.
 Jim got a letter earlier in the week that his pension is going to be cut substantially.  That was very discouraging to him after working for over 35+ years!   Today he found out that his company has rearranged all the bread routes, and basically, he is getting screwed financially, so will go back to covering vacations and get route average.  He was really looking forward to being able to build up his own route and having something to work with. 
He is discouraged, so I am trying to stay positive for him.


Terra said...

I think you are a brave darling for going to the retreat and staying amidst all the obstacles. I hope this weekend will be peaceful for you and your husband.

NanaDiana said...

I am so sorry, Deb. Seems when it rains, it pours. Sorry that you had such a hard time at the retreat but still sounds like you got more good out of it---than bad.
I know what it is like to come home to a mess----it is so discouraging. We have to realize that what is important to us as women, doesn't really matter much to men. lol
Hope you have a good week. xo Diana

Art @ Home said...

Thank you for visiting my art journaling blog and encouraging me. You encouraged me to get that post written and posted! I truly thank you for that....
I am so sorry that you had a rough time at your retreat physically, but what you gleaned spiritually is the important part. Plus you provided an opportunity for those other sweet ladies to minister to you. You're a blessing to them, too!

I hope you'll take the time to visit Liz and read her tutorial about Bible journaling. She did a great job!

Ricki Jill

Carolee said...

I know you had a rough time at the retreat but glad that you were feeling better on Sunday. I am so glad that you invited me to go this year. I really enjoyed it and spending time with two good friends. It was a memorable experience!

Oliva Ohlson said...

You were at the right place with so many caring women to be there for you! I can only imagine how you must have felt...powerless and so vulnerable...God was by your side!
Remember that men are from Mars, and we women are from Venus...and our priorities and needs phase men out!

I hope things are getting better for you. Take care of yourself! Hugs!!!

Linda said...

I'm glad we were able to go and that I could help in any way. But not so happy about the 'poopy' experience you had. I am also happy to hear that your skin is starting to heal.

Linda said...

Dearest Deb, I echo Terra's comment. Sending you a hug.

Greatfull Dazeez said...

Deb, I understand the soooo my, I have had an ileostomy for 20 years due to ulcerative colitis. I just had a similar situation after an endoscopy, had to come home in a paper gown. I also fight burns and blisters that I must cover up, I use a stomahesive powder but just a light dusting. Sounds like you had a good group to come together and learn so much. Thank you for sharing. It is nice to meet someone who has similar circumstances.


awww...even thought it didn't go as you hoped, it all worked out and God did provide for you in a great way..

Carol Hurlock said...

Hi Deb-I know you were so disappointed in the turn of events for something you were looking forward too. But my goodness, to be blessed with so many loving friends and ladies in your time of need is truly wonderful. To love and be loved is all one could ask for. Sending you a sweet cyber hug. I will pray for you and your husband!
Bear Hugs,