I went two days without crying, but have been having horrible headaches.
On Monday, I went with Linda to see her oncologist. He is very nice, and very agreeable as to our suggestion to go to a cancer center for a second opinion regarding treatment. We discussed some of the new treatments that they have. She has been having trouble breathing, so he decided that she should stay overnight in the hospital, get her blood thickened up and have a procedure the next morning where she could get some of the fluid by her lungs removed. This would make it easier for her to breathe.
Tuesday morning I waited with her for the test. When I left the hospital, my tummy really hurt and burned. My psoriasis was worse. As I had to change my appliance, I started to cry. It was like the last straw. I cried hard. I thought I was going to lose it. I had also received a call that I DIDN'T have a bladder infection, but that it was the Interstitial Cystitis again. Afraid that my Crohn's would flare up again, and that I would have a nervous breakdown, I called the clinic.
I saw the nurse practitioner and it was agreed that I could continue to wean myself off of the antidepressants, because I wasn't clinically depressed, just sad, and for good reason! She gave me something for anxiety and for my headaches. She also gave me a referral to the gastroenterologist, fearing that I had developed a narrowing in my intestine.
My husband I went for breakfast which was nice, and later I went for a haircut for a pick me up.
My husband was making me laugh.
So, that's me.
Linda is not doing well. She has very little appetite and is so tired all the time. All I can do, is pick up some ice cream for her and lemons for her tea. I love her. I hurt. I don't know what to do without her. She told me I have many more friends, but I don't feel like I do. I feel so alone in my pain.