Cancer and other Ugly Stuff
I decided that I don't cope with cancer very well. My bff is the one who has this awful disease. Another friend was also recently diagnosed.
I try to put my head in the sand, to retreat, to distance myself. It is for my own self protection, but not always the kindest thing to do.
I wish I was stronger, a better friend.
I have had many ailments since my bff's diagnosis. I know it is the stress. That is just the way I am programmed. I internalize things without realizing it.
All I can do is try to do better on both ends. It is easier for me when she is feeling good, but that's not the way to be. Prayer would be good.
I love this picture of us. We were both relatively healthy. It was shortly after I had my Ileostomy. Linda was such a help during that time. She ran my Avon business for me while I was hospitalized, treated me to little gifts every day that I was in the hospital (and there were a lot!). She has always been so supportive of me. I am not so great.
To me it's more that a building to worship; it is a large part of my life. In the past I always had a good friend at church with whom to do "church things" with, whether it was a Bible Study group, a potluck or whatever. With my bff''s illness, this has been missing in my life. It is not her fault.
Our church has an aging congregation. I am 64, but still, don't feel THAT OLD! There are no church retreats of interest, no small Women's Bible Study groups. Some of it is because of our pastor's view on Bible Study and women having a Bible Study group. (We have one, but it is run by our deaconess in the evening). I just want something informal with a couple of Christian like minded women and it doesn't matter to me if it is ecumenical.
I have missed what my pastor refers to as "happy-clappy" church music. I am not saying the hymnal has to be thrown out, but I do like contemporary Christian music and find it uplifting.
I plan on trying out a Bible study at a different church. I might also attend a service here and there, but still remain an active member of my home church. I hope I can do this.