About Me

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I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

"It Only Hurts Me When I Cry"

If I ever have bursitis again, or any kind of pain, it will have to be debilitating before I get another Cortisone shot! 
I heard they hurt, but what was worse, is that I found out I have a sensitivity to the cortisone.  I had the shot last Thursday, had a massive headache for two and a half days.  Sometimes it would let up a bit, but then would come back!  I also felt jittery, got flushed, felt famished all the time and couldn't sleep!  Anyway, the pain is gone, I have one more day of physical therapy,
and then I can return to life as usual!  Woo hoo!

My sister and I had tickets to go with the Senior Center to The Island, Chip-Inn Casino to see Dwight Yoakum, a country singer.
That was Friday night (yes, I had a headache and kept taking Tylenol).

On the way up north, we had a delicious chicken dinner.  When we got to the casino, we each got $20 in promo play and $2 coupon towards dinner. 
I won $50 on my first $5 of my promo.  Then went on to play further and kept on winning.  In all, I think I won $150!  IN THE BANK for a trip to visit my cousin in Florida.



On the bus ride home, we watched, A Beautiful Mind.  I had never seen it before.  (I cried).

**************

I have been sharing political memes on Facebook with a vengeance.  I think I have displaced my anger and grief  about my friend's cancer, and took it out at our current administration.  I never
said anything derogatory about anyone specific, but I got lambasted by a church friend who is quite conservative.  It is sad, because I never directed anything towards an individual, but something must have struck a nerve, because she let me have it.  Her words cut me like a knife.

I already could not sleep because of the cortisone, and now I felt so deeply hurt, as she was also a friend of Linda's.

I have never prayed so much!  I asked God what to do.  First, He told me that HE is in control, and I don't have to worry about the government.  He also convicted me that I should be the one to reach
out to the woman who hurt me.  I wrote a very nice letter of apology, and I pray she accepts it.
I asked if we could agree to disagree, and I am no longer posting anything political
on Facebook!  I am going to keep it nice and light, with maybe some Godly inspiration thrown in the mix!

********************

This grief thing is a process, isn't it?  A friend told me the four stages of grief.

1. Denial and isolation

 2. Anger

 3. Bargaining

 4. Depression

 5. Acceptance

I think I have skipped #3 and have been fluctuating between 1, 2, and 4 for some time now.






4 comments:

Terra Hangen said...

Those 5 stages of grief are familiar to me today, sad to say. Glad you got to see the show, bursitis or no.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I am so sorry you are in such pain all the time. I'm keeping you in my prayers sweet lady. Take care of yourself and try not to get stressed! Hugs!

baili said...

i can feel your pain dear friend through reading your biography above.
hoping best for you and glad that you got a wonderful life partner who is always there for you and it is beauty and happiness of your life

Linda said...

Being in pain is never easy and definitely not pleasant. Sending you warm hugs and much love. I am so sorry that you are going through this.