About Me

My photo
I have spent a great deal of my life battling illness. I suffered from Crohn's Disease and eventually had abdominal surgery, thwarting the Crohn's and budding cancer cells. Since my surgery in 1995 I have been relatively free from Crohns', although I had several subsequent surgeries related to my ileostomy..When my disease was in remission, I don't think my husband realized how bad it could get, but he has stood by me. I also have suffered from various autoimmune disorders and am diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney Disease. Fortunately, I am maintaining and do not need dialysis at this point. We adopted our son and later found out he had cerebral palsy, so he became my career. Dan has had two surgeries and tons of therapy and is able to walk because of it. He is a college graduate and is employed as an Information Specialist. We are very proud of his accomplishements. I am now part of the retired generation and still getting used to the idea. I do enjoy crafting, traveling and being with family and friends. I am active in my church and feel that the hardships we endure are there to build our faith. I like to live life in the "now" as we never know how much time is left.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Some of This and a Little of That

Today I was at Kevin’s.  Linda’s kids were there going over things.  There is SO MUCH!  I think she was a bit of a hoarder!  Everything was, “you know, you might need this someday.”  She had a nice collection of dolls, but I don’t want anything like that.  I just wanted my little DeMarco statue that said friend, a plant, and some odds and ends.  Kevin gave me her fitbit.  (Didn’t want that going to Goodwill).  I am undecided about things.  Everything is attached to memories, and makes me cry right now.  I might change my mind about some of the clothes, and just put it away for a year.  If I feel differently next year, I can wear it, otherwise will donate it then.  She had tons of purses, everything!  It is so sad.  One sees how much of a lifetime is attached to things.

She had a ton of jewelry, Red Hat stuff, etc.  I told Kev if he wants to get all the Red Hat stuff together, we can put it on my pool table, and I will have the ladies have at it.

Happy to report that Kevin is doing well.  He, too, had been grieving for a long time.  He said the house is so quiet.  I told him, he might have to put HGTV on for background noise!  He is just trying to move on.  Linda had a lifetime in that house, so he has much to go through and give away or whatever.  He is working, playing cards on Wednesday with his golfing buddies, going out for fish on Fridays at the golf course.  Tomorrow he will watch the Packer game with his daughter and her husband at his twin’s house. 


I am going to try and get back at the church's scrapbook.  I also am trying to get back into Bible Journaling.

This is my latest entry.  I was inspired by Jesus' baptism.  John 1:29  "Behold the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the World."


This is not typical Wisconsin weather.  Two weeks ago, it was below freezing with the wind chill.
Jim could not sell his wildcard tickets, so he and Dan went to the game.  The high was 13°
It was an exciting game, against the Lions, but Jim said never again!

They got to the game early and took this selfie.

Monday, we had an ice storm.    No fun driving my son to work!  He almost fell, and I had to walk him to the door!  (I had offered earlier, but he's so independent!)

This week has been rain, rain and more rain.  The snow is melting.  It is in the 30's and supposed to get to the 40's next week.  I think when Old Man Winter comes back, he'll be back with a vengeance!

Sunday, January 8, 2017


Well, it's a new year!  Where do I start?  I start with the memorial service of my dear friend,  Linda.

It was a beautiful service.  The pastor really touched upon all the points about her faith that Linda wanted to share with her family.  He also shared how creative and how full of fun she was.  Of course, I cried, but it was kind of off and on, as it was with her family.

Last Fall, when I was having a hard time knowing how to "be" with Linda and her cancer, we went to a women's faith retreat. That weekend, I think Linda and I were both trying to come to grips with her cancer in different ways, and for different reasons.  She retreated into herself, and I sought support from others.   I just couldn't be there emotionally for her. 

Linda had become very critical of me, and that is why I kept my distance for a time, but one day I realized it didn't matter.  THIS wasn't Linda.  It was her anger at the cancer, or the chemo, that was making her so snarky towards me, and I would just ignore it.  I will never know if it was me, or the chemo, or the cancer.  I will never know if she was intentionally pushing me away, or if I was trying to withdraw emotionally.  At some point, it didn't matter.   I emailed her and told her that I loved her for 26 years and I was always going to love her.  She told me she loved me too.  (I'm saving that email)  We got together a couple of times, and when it started to look like it was the beginning of the end, we both told each other we were sorry for hurting one another and held each other and cried.  Again, I told her that I loved her and she would always be my best friend. 

So, it's a new year, and I must go on.  Linda told me that I had to go on without her.  She knew me, just as she knew how my body responded to the stress of her cancer.  Both she and her husband didn't want me to get sick again.  I did what I could, but feel it was never enough.


So, I go on.  I am having physical therapy this week for bursitis in my left hip.  I am meeting a new friend and my sister for lunch on Thursday.  I am back to blogging.  I have made a new friend through Linda's blog and cancer support group.  Last Fall at the retreat I became closer to another woman who invited me to go along with her to another retreat in February!  (more about that, in February.)  At the end of the month, my sister and I are getting on the bus to see Dwight Yoakam
at a casino up north.


So, I go on, and I choose joy!

I bought this from someone who has her own Bible Journaling group and stamp shop. Korin Sutherland also has a shop on etsy  When I saw this, I had to have it.  2016 was not the best year for me.

Next week Bible Study starts up again!  I have been trying on my own, but I love to meet with the ladies!


Hope my post wasn't too depressing.  A blessed New Year to all my readers!